We tend to think that when someone is struggling, we should know what to say. But how do you know someone is struggling in the first place?

The truth is, you often don’t. Someone can seem completely fine. They go to work, meet friends, make jokes, post a photo and carry on with everyday life, while quietly dealing with what lies beneath the surface.

There may be no changes in behavior. Nothing to suggest that something is wrong. No obvious sign. But perhaps we don’t need one.

We are used to reaching out for the obvious reasons. Happy birthday. Congratulations. I’m sorry for your loss. Good luck with your new job. Happy holidays. There is usually a moment or an occasion that tells us it’s time to get in touch.

But what about reaching out when someone simply comes to mind? Not because anything happened, not because there is something to celebrate, but just because.

A message. A phone call. A bunch of flowers. Or a card. Small gestures can bring a little warmth to an ordinary day. They can start a conversation, bring a smile, or simply remind someone that they are not forgotten.

10 October marks World Mental Health Day. It is a day that brings mental health into focus, and an opportunity to think about how we look out for the people around us. Because looking out for someone isn’t only about noticing when something is wrong. It can also be about staying connected when everything seems perfectly fine.

Asking how someone is doing. Sharing something that made you think of them. Sending a message when there is nothing in particular to say.

Often, you don’t know what someone is struggling with. And perhaps you don’t need to. Being thoughtful doesn’t require knowing the whole story. It simply means paying attention to the people who matter to you and making a small effort to let them know they crossed your mind.

Sometimes, reaching out is as simple as saying: I was thinking of you.